


It's Safe Under the Bed

by JJWay



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bad Parenting, Broken Family, Childhood Memories, Divorce, F/M, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-10
Updated: 2013-06-10
Packaged: 2017-12-14 14:23:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/837877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJWay/pseuds/JJWay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There’s a little raven haired boy that lives in the back of his memories, who holds onto his older brother weeping into his chest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Safe Under the Bed

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Pink Family Portrait, and I had a much better idea than this, but this was the outcome of my writing. I have spelt Helblindi and Byleistr's names differently, because I pronounce them Helbindi and Balestr rather than how they should be.

The yelling never stops, always so loud, always so frightening. Why do they always have to fight? Why is it that most nights the little raven haired boy finds himself hiding under his bed? Why is it an older, but still so young, boy is the only comfort he has? Their names are heard within the screams; did they do something wrong?

Under the bed had become his sanctuary. The safe spot in the world where no one can hurt him.

Loki, now sixteen years old, still hides under the bed. Helbindi, now eighteen years old, can’t comfort his little brother as much as he could anymore. Balestr, now twenty-four years old, doesn’t give or need comfort over his family, the fighting started when he was old enough to just walk out the house; he moved out long ago. Their father, Laufey, now 42 years old, couldn’t take the fighting anymore; Loki begged him to stay, but it was fruitless. Their mother, Farbauti, now 40 years old, wants to start her life over; Helbindi begged her to see reason, but it was fruitless.

Under his bed there are pictures of his family, happy, taped above his head on the wooden panelling preventing his mattress from falling down on him. There it’s easy to pretend his family isn’t falling apart.

Loki was fourteen when his father walked out. Helbindi held his little brother under the bed as their parents fought. Balestr wasn’t here to hear the glasses breaking, or the cruse words that echoed round the house as his youngest brother cried against his other sibling. Laufey didn’t think of anything other than getting out the house as he slammed the front door so hard it shook the rest of the house. Farbauti didn’t think of her children as she stormed up stairs and let angry tears roll down her cheeks, trying to allow sleep to consume her.

Under his bed is painted a bright green, the panelling and the small square of flooring, his favourite colour. Helbindi painted it for him, just one of the lengths to make the space more cheerful.

Loki swept the broken glass up the next day. Helbindi fixed both him and his little brother their breakfast, a desperate attempt to lighten the mood. Balestr stayed in bed hugging his girlfriend close, miles away from his family, blissfully unaware of the developments in his childhood home. Laufey ignored his youngest son’s pitiful cries, pushing him out the way as he packs his bag; leaving again, never to darken the door again. Farbauti doesn’t react to the cries either, nor the man she used to love exiting her life as the son she has left in the room with her asks what’s going on; she carries on smoking, staring out the window.

Under his bed are pieces of colourful string tied around the bottoms of his bed posts; a piece of string for every time he comes under here to cry. It exchanges a hurtful memory for something bright and simple. All four bed posts are almost filled with string.

Loki cried and hid under his bed when his parent’s divorce was final; alone. Hebindi cried when he was separated from his mother and brother to live with his father. Balestr hung up on his mother when she called him about the divorce; he thought it should have reached this point before he and his brothers were damaged by their parent’s endless fighting. Laufey moved him and his son half way across the country, happy his ex-wife was finally out of his life. Farbauti tried her hardest to cheer her youngest son up, but stopped as soon as he started shouting at her; she didn’t want anyone else yelling at her from now on.

Under his bed Loki and Helbindi’s names are carved into the skirting board. They decided it would be a great idea after watching _Madeline_ ; they stole one of Balestr pen knives when Loki was seven, and drew doodles around their newly craved names.

Loki ran up stairs, locked his door and hide under his bed when his mother told him she’d gotten a new boyfriend; he didn’t speak to her for a week. Helbindi told his youngest brother how stupid their mother was when he rang him with the horrid news; he hated their mother for not thinking of Loki first. Balestr rolled his eyes at the news, not surprised his mother had moved on so fast; but as long as they didn’t get married he had no problem. Laufey laughed when his son told him his mother had a boyfriend; he couldn’t care less if she was fucking someone else, she was doing it when they were together anyway. Farbauti was ecstatic with her new found happiness, so happy she paid no mind to the son she had left; she was going to enjoy herself while she still had the years left.

Under his bed has special pillows brought for him by Helbindi on his fifteenth birthday. It was a reminder that even though his brother isn’t here to share the small space with him anymore he still cares. Loki has only pillows to hug now Helbindi isn’t here; but at least it’s something.

Loki didn’t try to hide his rage when his mother decided she wanted to move in with her boyfriend; however his emotions were spilled over like a multicoloured paint can when his mother slapped him. Helbindi tried to talk his mother against the idea after the panicked phone call he’d gotten of his younger sibling; he was soon hung up on. Balestr stopped answering the phone to his parents when he was twenty-three and first heard the news of his mother from Loki; he and his girlfriend made a bet on how long his mother’s new relationship would last. Laufey only shrugged when the message was relayed to him, and the action was repeated when he heard he’s ex-wife had hit their son; it wasn’t his problem anymore. Farbauti felt no guilt when she hit her son, she wouldn’t have him turn out like his father; her son had to learn how to respect her, just like her ex-husband should have.

Under the bed was Loki’s special hideout, the place that housed so many memories for him. It was made perfect for him over the years. Photos, paint, string, names and pillows. Easily replaced, but Loki didn’t want different; he wanted his safe haven just the way it had been. His safe spot in the world was being pushed into a removal van, his beloved brother had been taken away from him, his oldest brother had abandoned him long ago, he hadn’t seen his father since the day he left, and his mother just wanted a new life, only keeping him around because his father wouldn’t have both him and Helbindi. All Loki has left is a poor replacement of his previous family: a mother who doesn't want him and a step father and step brothers he never asked for.

There’s a little raven haired boy that lives in the back of his memories, who holds onto his older brother weeping into his chest as screams and the sound of broken glass make there way to his ears. Neither of the young boys know what they’re fighting about or where their older brother is. But they know they’re safe, as long as they’re under the bed they’re safe.

They both wonder if they’re the cause of the arguments. If only they were better their parents wouldn’t have to fight. If only they were nicer, if only they were quieter, if they only they were more well behaved, if only their parents knew how much they loved them. Tomorrow they’ll be better, tomorrow there’ll be no more fighting; tomorrow they’ll be the perfect family. Tomorrow will be silent, peaceful, and they’ll sleep on top of the bed instead of under it.

 

That tomorrow never comes.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never had to deal with a parent's divorce, because my parents were never married and they spilt up when I wasn't living with them anymore, so I don't know the actually feels you'd get from it. I was trying more instead to get across the feel that although Loki's childhood wasn't in anyway great, he'd take that over not having his family together.


End file.
